Al Strachan: A "big windbag"

I don’t like Al Strachan.

My friend Matt had a good line about him once. We were watching Al grinding an axe one night on Hockey Night in Canada, and Matt said, “It looks like God made Strachan out of the crap he had left over when he made Mike Keenan.”

I know, I know. It’s cheap to take a shot at a guy’s appearance. It isn’t just his looks that bug me, though. It’s the entire package – the way he’d nag behind Ron Maclean on Hockey Night, taking potshots on the Hot Stove panel on issues he knew nothing about, the whining voice – I’m not alone, either. Just ask Brian Burke or Howard Berger what they think of Strachan. And it can’t be mere coincidence that he was dropped from the show this year.

Today in his Canada-wide column, Al was up to his old tricks:

"Don't be surprised if the Oilers trade Chris Pronger to free up some money. He has a whopping salary and the return could be significant."

WHAT?!

This idea is so decisively absurd, I barely know where to begin.

First of all, the Oilers traded a significant chunk of their future to obtain Pronger last summer, and awarded him a five-year deal to lock him up for the long term. At 31 years old, Edmonton made the executive decision to build their team around Pronger – why would they get rid of him after one season?

Pronger is likely one of the top three defensemen in the league, after Scott Niedermayer and Nicklas Lidstrom. He finished ninth in points this year, it’s true, but he played a good percentage of games this season with a broken foot. He is a consistently high point producer, and has won the Hart Trophy, the Norris Trophy, an Olympic Gold medal, led the league in +/- twice, and is an eight-time NHL all-star. At 6’6”, 230 pounds, Pronger is a virtually irreplaceable blueline asset. Don't make me haul out the list of Cup winners that had a legitimate number-one defenseman like Pronger on their teams.

Pronger’s average salary of 6.25 million per season might look “whopping” at first glace, but once Lidstrom, Zdeno Chara, Bryan McCabe, and Wade Redden ink contracts this summer, Pronger’s deal is going to look very reasonable by comparison. Besides - Edmonton knew what they were getting into with his salary from the outset, and that was before they realized they might have put together a contending team. If money is the issue, the team sold out every single seat in the arena this year, including of course, all playoff dates, which ended with a Game Seven appearance in the Finals. In short, Edmonton is rolling in money this season.

But according to Strachan, the team needs to trade one of the best defenseman in the league, to "free up money"?

In the playoffs this year, Pronger carried the Oilers on his gigantic shoulders, leading the team in points (21), average ice time (30:57), and +/-, (+10) registering his presence on the ice during every single game.

And besides all this, prior to Strachan's absurd article, there was absolutely no hint, no suggestion, no rumour whatsoever that Pronger will be doing anything but leading the team next year, just like the Oilers had planned all along.

Edmonton has some hard salary decisions to make, but Pronger isn't one of them. No way is he going anywhere.

Strachan pulled this "story" from his rectum.

*****
Update: If my cutthroat analysis wasn't good enough for you, how would you like to hear Kevin Lowe's take on Strachan? Blogger Colby Cosh had this to say today (June 23rd):

"Strachan just appeared on Team 1260 radio in a taped interview from his cabin in New Brunswick. He not only stood by the comment (obviously written between trips to the minivan with camping equipment), he claimed it was only "fifty-fifty" that Pronger would be back.

Needless to say, Kevin Lowe came on the line immediately and started goofing on Strachan. "Sounds like there's a lot goin' on!" he said to host Bob Stauffer. "How'd you enjoy your summer?" He went on to call Strachan a "big windbag" and to describe his comments as "unethical." "

*****

I honestly don’t know why I read Strachan’s stories. It’s like he only noticed Pronger’s salary yesterday and somehow drew a connection between that and his availability. Why does this guy get a nationwide column, when a zesty writer like Erin Nicks freelances in the Ottawa Sun on Sundays only?

And I know it’s always easier to cut apart work somebody else put together, to analyze (read that as “slam mercilessly”) something rather than to write something original yourself.

It’s so much more reactive and passive; you wait until you see something you don’t like, and then you whip out the knife and go to town. Working this way, your positions are never up for debate; strategically, it’s easier, because by the nature of the criticism, you’re the one doing the attacking, and it’s the other guy who is scrambling to defend his positions.

But Strachan writes poorly-written (“It’s not just the Pronger line,” Sancho told me earlier. “He also wrote, ‘in today's National Hockey League, the off-ice developments are nowhere near as ideal as the off-ice developments.’ What does that mean? And I didn't know Edmonton had nine 'unconditional' free agents - is that different than 'unrestricted'? ”) unsubstantiated pulp on a regular basis.

For instance, earlier this season, he unloaded a baseless attack on Ed Belfour’s character, accusing the goalie of faking an injury with absolutely no proof whatsoever, suggesting that “the only thing hurt might be (the) Eagle’s pride.” A few days later, it was revealed that Belfour was done for the season, having a ruptured disk in his back seriously enough that he required surgery. Oops. Of course, Al was man enough to admit he was wrong in a future article, right?

(crickets chirping)

I don’t have the time or inclination to research and post all of Strachan’s egregious, ridiculous assertions, but I’m sure he'll groove me another creampuff or two to tee off on. In the near future.


The Sun's popular initial choice
for Strachan's column photo

In interview this season, Strachan said, “I write what I believe.”

Me too, Al. I believe you’re the worst hockey writer in Canada.